My cousin Jackson!

He was charming,lovable,super active..tall dark and handsome.. my cousin.. 3 days elder to me..(he was always proud of it).. who was always there for me.. to know my life and to guide me..God knows how he knew my all crush's, boy friend's name and details  right from my college days(which used to scare me sometimes).. no idea how he used to read my mind.. tell his secrets too.. such a guy he was.. very simple and down to earth.. we used to call whenever needed..for timepass... and he had called me a week before to remind me of my engagement.. number of day's left.. he mentioned that he has taken a weeks leave to attend my day on Nov 7th 2010.. so how could i believe when my dad called at 10am on oct 19th 2010 to say 'Jackson is NO MORE'... i still feel he is hiding somewhere just to play a prank with us.. i miss u Jackson..cant control my tears when i think of u.. how dare u leave us so suddenly.. no good bye .. nothing.. just left us empty.. u promised to give me all my pending gifts of Raksha bandhan.. take test of my fiance to see if he is good for me.. when will u do all this..where are u Jackson.. come back...

Smile on my face :)

When my fiance spoke his intension of marrying me to his dad 2years back, his dad asked him ‘whats ur bank balance as u look very eager to marry?’. He replied to his dad’s sudden question ‘may be 5000 rupees’. And then, his dad said 'are u sure its 5000 and not 500?' and removed his son's bank statement which read less than 500 rupees :) and that statement had entries like KFC, Dominos,McDonalds,HP store,KFC KFC,Empire’s etc .. Thinking of his embarrassed face brings smile on my face each time.. :)

Its my story..Passion can make us proud!!!!

Passion can make us proud!

When I was in 12th and was staring at my physics text book, I heard a news which didn’t make me feel much that moment but deeply felt the intensity of the news later when all the channels were flooded with her photo's and passion everywhere. Yes, she was a star, she lived for her passion, and she is Kalpana Chawla. That was the time when I was preparing for my board exams and all of them used to asked one nightmare question to me, that’s 'what next??', trust me , I really didn’t know what should be the answer but looking at her photo’s and reading about her I was very clear in my answer, that was ‘something for my country’.

Soon after my 12th STD results I started nurturing my dream, going towards my passion, my country and that was ‘The Indian Army’. Army is the one which saves our country, our people at any crisis; I wanted to be a part of it from bottom of my heart. I thought I was born only to be in Army. So to accomplish my dream, the first step was ‘NCC’. I joined, got trained with shooting, Riffle drill, Trekking and yes Flying with a Air force pilot to make myself capable to join the Army. I was living my dream those days where I was getting closer to my goal. Days passed by, I almost completed my graduation where I was selected to serve for a software industry. I knew I still could chase my dream and hence my passion never came down. When I joined the software industry, I got busy in another life, new place new people, new learnings, with my passion resting deep in my heart for months.

Days, months, years passed. I realized, I thought. I asked myself what was I doing. The answer was blank. I thought to pursue my passion, the Army once again. I went cranky that day; I wanted to get into Army. So as a first step I browsed all possible websites to get entrance details of it. At last! I found it. I didn’t wait to download the form, fill it. I went to my native place and notarized the form and completed formalities in my NCC unit where i was trained and sent the form. I was keeping my fingers crossed, just wishing and praying that i should get a call for the Interview. I waited and waited. And then, my dad called me saying that I got my interview letter. My happiness knew no boundaries. I screamed in joy and was getting ready to attend the interview in Bhopal. My next task was to take one week leave. I explained my seniors. But no, no one understood and bluntly told that they could not give my leaves due to critical deadlines. I was disappointed. I sent a fax to Bhopal office and explained my unavailability.

To my surprise, I got a letter for the interview for the absentee batch. This time i couldn’t miss my chance. Applied for leave when the project was stabilized and flew to Bhopal. I was just getting closer to my dream of life, i was happy. But the first big task was clearing the interview which consisted of IQ test, Psychological Tests, Personal Interviews, Group Discussions, Group task obstacles (outdoor tests).I reached Bhopal to find around 100 girls who have come just like me to pursue their mission. I was thrilled. I loved it.

The first day we had screening round, we were tested on our Aptitude, IQ and Group Discussion and we were asked to wait for around 1hour for the result. Trust me; this was the longest 1 hour in my life. Finally after 2.5hours, officer came on stage to announce the candidates who had cleared the round in ascending chest numbers. My chest number was 22; i was just hoping that this number would be called. I waited patiently with my heart beating as fast as it could and my body being ice cold, and then he called Chest number 15 and then 18 and then finally 22!

This was the best moment of my life. I had cleared the first round and was selected for the second round of interviews that would be for 4 more days. 15 girls out of around 100 were selected and were happy that I was one of them. I knew i had very big obstacle ahead, clearing the other tests to grab my dream!

Each morning after that was a challenge, waking up at 4 am and then getting ready for the outdoor tests, Group discussions and Psychological Tests, Personal Interviews. Finally the 5th day arrived which was the main day for the results. I was tensed as i knew this is the day which would decide my future, my career and if i could achieve my dream or not. We all girls waited and finally officer came to declare the results. My chest number was 8.

He started to speak and my heart was on my mouth. He called out Chest number 14! Which led me go into disappointment? My number was not called, I cried. I knew my dream would just be a dream now. My friends, family consoled but no one could stop me going into depression. I came back to Bangalore to continue my job with the passion still intact in my heart and soul. Its more than 2 years after the interview, but those wonderful memories are still fresh in me and which would always be till my last breath.

I have no regrets about it. I know I could not fulfill my passion, my dream, but I am happy and proud of myself that I had such a dream, such a passion!

Jai Hind!!!